3-card reading, Radiant Tarot deck
I think we can all agree that there is a lot of violence and suffering in this world. In the wake of the 7465638282756563th shooting in America, this idea is being reinforced. Humanity is rife with pain and separation. Our beliefs divide. We are forgetting function in favor of form when we separate from Other with our own self-righteous causes.
What good does being ‘right’ serve -spiritually, intellectually, intuitively – if all it does is serve to divide…permanently?
We need people. We live in a world where people are being stretched, emotionally, financially, ….so stretched, so fearful that we hoard our “piece of the pie,” work work work, noise, noise, better, stronger (out of fear of not being ‘enough’), etc. that we forget to connect; enabling a system of forgetfulness, fear, and separation.
The system we live in is corrupt (lezbereal here). The people in power want to keep this division/polarization in place to distract us from mobilizing. Media manipulates, people manipulate to keep this power dynamic in place, distracting us from the real issues, like the fact that we’re systematically being robbed of livelihoods. But the issue is much deeper than that. We are divided in ourselves, we all experience separation and pain from divine love. our own love. We all carry that wound in our own unique way.
I’ve always been daunted by the notion of “forgiveness.” I’ve even had a hard time grasping the concept of it intellectually….”you mean, love your enemy?! HOW!” I’m of the ilk of holding people accountable for their ‘wrongs.’ Hating hating hating….it’s a lot of energy holding people accountable when you don’t get what you want, when you feel slighted and rejected, when they withhold love, betray you, poke at your wounds ad nauseum. HOW DARE YOU! AFTER ALL I DID FOR YOU! Yeah, forgiveness is a hard one. It’s especially hard/confusing when you realize you have to forgive YOURSELF for their reflection of the very thing you DON’T see about yourself. The projection game is pervasive and mostly unavoidable.
Hence, love anyone, and heart break is inevitable.
Enter my dog. My dog, my best friend, died on Saturday. She died the day before St. Francis’ feast day, the patron saint of animals. I like to think he’s looking out for her. Her death hit me hard. UNUSUALLY hard. How can these creatures…these perfect manifestations of unconditional love, die, or suffer? So rough. You give a dog a little bit and it will love you times ten. You could be homeless, you could be Oprah, and it will still love you.
Dogs are humanity’s reminder that we’re all worthy of love. Dogs connect us to joy and presence. They remind us to enjoy the TIME you have with them. They remind us to take time and be present. My dog’s untimely death has deepened my notion of the idea of ‘time’ itself – taking time, giving yourself time, giving people time, PLAYING with time, and the saddest/sweetest/damndest – having limited time. It’s the only currency that matters if you ask me.
I’m certain the universe works in the way dogs love – You put forth a little effort, you meet the world with love, and it will LOVE you right back. Maybe not in the way you expect or in the time you might expect, but surely in the ways you need it (my dog chewing on my Ferragamo shoes was a lesson in letting go) .
The universe creates and destroys, separates and unites, all with breathtaking beauty. There are times when humanity argues and bickers and things breakdown, all in service to breakTHROUGH. All the pain and sadness, serving to break us open and just love. Dogs are that reminder to humanity. They love, they die. It’s a pain that serves to teach us.
We project a lot of shit onto perfect love (look at all the people who abuse dogs and abandon them). In the Christian tradition, Jesus Christ (yeah, that guy), for all intents and purposes was a perfect manifestation of love, and humanity fucked that up – even some of his own brethren turned against him. But in the end, it all didn’t matter. He sacrificed himself, and resurrected, to show humanity that we could be redeemed through love. That we were not separate from the divine. That we could be broken and completely fucked up, left for dead but still love and be loved. It’s a radical concept.
What if we could have our differences, even argue, and still hold space for people, for ourselves, in love. what if we could stare our enemies in the face and say, ‘I love you. Thank you for being my teacher.’ It may sound difficult when we’re identifying with ego and pride (he left me for another woman, etc), the pain of rejection so deep, betrayal so painful, senseless violence so ‘unforgivable,’ but we must believe it all serves a purpose – deeper, greater union with the divine, with ourselves and others, with community. a timeless, simple, yet complex truth – life/death/life. Destruction occurs to the extent that humanity can no longer destroy, a baby cries until it can no longer cry. The pain washes over, and we can start anew.
It all sounds cheesy, you know, these new age concepts, ‘thou art that,’ ‘be love,’ but there is truth to it, and when you truly connect with them they can be powerful and life changing. There’s so much burden (emotionally, physically) we carry around with hating when we could simply drop it and open our hearts; grace always with us. We’re all human, we’re all in pain. My rightness is not better than your rightness. People go forward in consciousness, they go backward in consciousness, and it’s ALL OK.
I’m not saying we should forget, or be BFFs with those that harm us, boundaries are important, God knows there’s a place for holy anger in the service of change, but I’m saying we should just acknowledge people’s pain, know that they had a past that caused it, think of all the good times, and release it, in love. In other words, forgive.
Ever notice that collectively, there has always been a fascination with nefarious characters and serial killers? It’s not morbid fascination (ok,maybe a little), it’s a reflection of how deep down the rabbit hole of separation we can go. Of how far off the rails we can move away from source. of how distorted our thinking can become when we identify with our past, our stories. ‘thou art that.’
The cards I pulled are minor arcana cards. A reminder that all the bickering and ego identication DON’T MATTER in the grand scheme of things. What matters is that it serves the purpose of opening yourself up to radical love of self and other, as seen in the ace of cups. Let our perceived ‘differences’ and pain, our division against ourselves serve to fill us with Divine grace.
These cards are about giving up certain outmoded ideas/ thought forms/moral agendas (the swords, the realm of thought) that no longer serve you. The thought forms only serve to deplete you, they divide, they kill. This thought form seems grievous to give up, and indeed it has caused you to have mixed ideas about your path (5 of wands), your own creativity, but will eventually be replaced with deeper, more radical love of self and other.
I’m drinking one of those yogi teas right now, the one where the little flag tag is a fortune. it says, “Where there is love, there is no question.”
Love to my perceived ‘enemies.’ I identify with that which is in myself (with some resistance I admit), forgive myself (imperfectly), and release you (GOD I hope only this ONE time).
and with that, over and out.
My new spirit animal. Love to you.